Once a year we try our best to make the 5 mile hike from our house to the enchanted forest of the Maryland Renaissance Festival. Once there, we eat and drink our way through obscene shouts of of Old English, wenches in their tightest garb, sword swallowers, knife throwers, and, of course, the jousting.
We are simply spectators at the Renaissance Festival. Besides the occasional spirit (brewed right here in God Bless America) and the obligatory yet oh-so-terrible turkey leg, we go to watch. People watching. Glass blower watching. Shakespearean play watching. Window shop watching. This is what a Renaissance Festival is good for. Watching.
But we drink our beers in plastic cups, take pictures with our 21st century cameras, throw away our turkey legs after one bite and then make a beeline for Phillips Seafood. We stay in the Bee Tent way too long sampling the honey. We leave the jousting event before it’s over because we are getting hot sitting in the sun. And then we contemplate the meaning of spending $2 on 5 knives and 30 seconds of “let’s throw an object at a wall and see if it sticks” fun. All before we head home so that we don’t need to use the portable privies once again.
We are terrible Renaissance lords and ladies. But, gosh, what would autumn be without a trip to renfest?