I’m pretty sure we always stayed at The Beach Club Resort when we visited Disney World because it had the coolest water slides. Nestled into the side of a gigantic, shipwrecked pirate’s abode, the slides swirled in and out of one another, down the sides of the boat and into the turquoise blue pool. My dad would wait at the bottom to catch me, saving me from the chlorine rush to my head. The climb back to the top was a bit terrifying. Up, up, up, ‘round and around you went on a super skinny staircase. Mom or dad would walk up with me, because I have a minor fear of heights… yes, that’s the correct tense, I still have a minor fear of heights.
…. it was awesome.
There’s something about a water slide that still makes me giddy. So when we showed up to the Peabody Orlando this weekend, my reaction to the water slide was something along the lines of Oh my God! Oh my God! Keep your cool, Tina…
Resort pools are so funny. They pretend to be so unique and yet they are all the same… exact… pool. Let’s go on a tour. To the left you will see a wall of cascading waterfalls plummeting over the rocks into the shallow end of the pool. Here you will find preteens hiding behind the the sheet of flowing water, their conversations drowned out by the roar of crashing falls. Directly in front of the waterfall, you can gallivant through the series of arched bridges, connecting teensy weensy wading pool A to teensy weensy wading pool B. Over on the side, you will see your tropical fruit inspired bar. It is here where you can purchase your $12 frozen adult beverage, garnished with an orange and cherry on top. Oh, but wait! You get an awesome, fancy plastic cup to carry with you everywhere you go, immediately changing your status from a lame vacationer to a super cool pool-goer. Just make sure you keep your shades on. It hides the squint in your eyes.
So as you scan the always unique, one-of-a-kind resort pool, keep a lookout for completely empty hot tub (hot tubs are for snowy nights at a cabin). Plus, you never know what’s growing under those bubbles. As far as the eye can see, you’ll be greeted with two very distinct women species. First, you have the scary, brown, leather type. They’re usually on the stomachs, bathing suit tops undone. The other type is the lobster roll, stubborn type. They didn’t get enough of a base tan before their vacation and forgot the SPF. Scattered alongside them are kids and men who are just trying to have a fabulous time.
Oh, wait, what’s that over there? Towering above the sparkling blue waves and sea of white towels, there it is in all of its glory. The water slide. I suggest you start here. If it’s engineered well, with a solid push at the top, you’ll fall smoothly down to your inevitable swimmer’s ear fate. Don’t forget to say “wheeee” as you slide. And always, always, climb back up the stairs to do it again. Be sure to have an amazing husband aside you to revel in the fun. It makes the experience a trillion times more exciting…. and makes a great date at the same time!
When you’ve tired, grab yourself an overpriced piña colada, a lounge chair and take a break. Soak it in. This, my friends, is what a resort pool is all about.
Oh, and if you are looking for a place to stay at Disney World, my 12 year-old self definitely recommends The Beach Club Resort.
And for the record, I was recently enlightened: It wasn’t the super cool water slide that brought us back year after year. The true reason we stayed at The Beach Club is that it’s walking distance to Epcot Center…. which just so happens to be the only Disney park that serves alcohol. Chalk it up to those forward thinkers in Tomorrowland- pour a tall glass and watch the parents flock.
*Filed under Wanderlust Life*